Impulse buy....

my baby ducks

OK, so I did alittle shopping today. I actually had to get some horse feed and some horse treats so I went to Tractor Supply...low and behold, they had baby ducks and baby chicks. OK, so on an impulse buy, I got two baby ducks!!! They are the cutest things!! I haven't decided on names because I'm not sure if they are male or female. They love me though. They jump into my hand and on my lap and everything. So now, along with Molly, Bristol, and Stella: my dogs...Barbea, my horse...Sid, my ferret...Squirt, Thorpe and Phelps, my turtles... I have two cute little baby ducks. Some people say I'm obsessive with my animals... I just think I have soo much love to go around. I was surprised Mom and Dad didn't throw a fit. I think they know by now that I am pretty damn responsible when it comes to my animals and that I do take care of them.

Anyway, on a sad note, one of my best friend's grandma past away this weekend. My other friends and I went to the funeral home tonight for the viewing. I hate doing that. I don't usually so my friend was very surprised I came. I knew her Grandma meant alot to her. I'm glad I could suck it up and go. I didn't go to the casket or anything but I did talk with my friend. That's as best I could do. I prefer to remember the departed as they lived, not as they are dead. She was a great lady.

Well, I guess that does it for this post. Now that I've made everyone sad. I realize I need to spend more time with my only remaining Grandma. She needs to quit bringing up my ex though if she wants me to come visit. It seems like everytime I'm over there she asks me about him... guess what, I don't know sh*t about him anymore. I don't care to know sh*t. I wish she could just leave it at that. We will never be together ever again. I'm way to good for him. I wish she could see that... But, I still lover her. Anyway, well, I think I'll sleep on that.. Hopefully not a bad dream either....

Interesting stuff on the Rumor Mill.....

OK, so after an uneventful weekend...again... I got some juicy info off the rumor mill. So, remember Mr. Taken, well I've heard through the grapevine that he is now Mr. Single. I guess he was having second thoughts about the wedding. So I heard, he talked to his fiance and discussed his thoughts and she ended it. I guess I'm not gonna jump too soon because they could always get back together... but, like I said, I didn't see him being ready to be married. Heck, why would he be out without her if they were really into eachother!?!?! I dunno... it does put a smile on my face. Maybe a guy that makes me giddy, will ask me out... Then again, maybe they will get back together. It does put a smile on my face though, even if only for a short time. We'll see. Anyway, thats about all the juicy info I got. I still haven't tracked down the culprit who gave out my cell number, but I do have a suspect. And boy is he gonna get it!! Well, he could make it up to me if he gave it to Mr. Single. That would be cool. I could deal with that!! Geez, I really am giddy right now.. You know, the feeling when the sun peeks out from behind a cloud? It's kinda nice... I need more of that feeling!! OK, well, that's all I've got.

AAHH MAN!!!

Well, my racing buddy just called me and said he had tickets to Bristol
but he wasn't going to go and asked if I wanted to buy them. With
money situation right now, there is no way... but, man, I would love to
go!!! So, I realize that some people actually stumble across my blog
and read it...shout out to Kansas Shitty!! It is really funny
to see some of other peoples blogs and opinions. Take for instance
this Kansas Shitty person, he said I should euthanize my horse... What
the f*ck?!?!!?!? We have a long chat session and straightened
everything out but let me tell ya, it rubbed me the wrong way!! I
would like to think I can hold up my own when it comes to tongue-
lashings and put-downs. I'm pretty good at it when my blood is
boiling. The irony of it... Barbea had a bad day after that..

Thursday the vet was coming to take out her staples from her
incision. She wasn't feeling well that day and I suggested a couple of
things to the vet. She didn't take my advise, instead she waited to
hear back from OSU. When they got back with her, they told her to do
what I had suggested she do. Go figure. I learned a little bit being
at OSU for a week. She is better now. I just have to keep a really
close eye on her. But, get this, the vet was supposed to call me that
night at 5pm, got the call at 7:30pm.. She said she would all me
between 10am and 11am the next day to give me the test results. I was
gonna go shopping with the Klik but I decided to stay home and monitor
Barbea, plus wait for the phone call. I received that call at 5:15pm.
I waited around all day long. If she wouldn't have gave me a time, it
wouldn't upset me but just don't tell me you are gonna call at a
certain time and then not. That's just not right. Anyway, test came
back good.

Got my hair cut... little shorter than I usually go... I think it
makes me look fat.. damn, its my fault... I told her to go shorter..
well, in a month it will be the length I wanted it.... there goes my
chance with Eye Candy... Also got an email from my guy guy, said he
sucks at staying in touch... no kidding.. he got a crutch rocket and a
job. I guess he's getting more grown up!!

Last night I went and seen The Ring Two with my buddy, Greg.
It was OK. Not very scary. It was nice to go to a movie though. I
hadn't seen one since The Aviator with Kim. I guess when you
don't have someone, you just don't go. Depressing... I am starting to
feel really bad about the fact that I'm always calling myself a loser
and that no one wants me when in actuality, I do get asked out, I'm
just too damn picky... I guess I've always been like that. Some people
just go out with everyone who asks. I don't see the point if I have no
attraction. I guess I feel an obligation to a date too, like a good
night kiss and stuff. If I'm not interested, then that would be
leading them on. I just want to stick to people that I am giddy
about. Hopefully someone like that will ask me out. Someone that I'm
obviously flirted with and showed interest in. These guys who are
asking me out are guys I haven't did that with. I don't get it. It's
like they stand back and watch me flirt with someone else then call
me.. That is just weird. Oh well, tonight I'm having Easter with my
family.. All the happy couples... Three are engaged. Should be a
FABULOUS time... bah humbug... I mean, bah humbunny...

What is up?!?!?!

OK, so today I had a guy come into the library to meet me. Not exactly what i was expecting but I wasn't really expecting much. Like I said, I have given up the search. So, I called my friend on my way home and I got a beep on my cell phone. I didn't know the number so I answered it. It was another guy calling to ask me out. OK, super weird. The guy is nice enough, don't get me wrong, just again, not what I was expecting. It's nice to have guys calling and wanting to take you out but I don't know, I guess I just wanna go out with someone I'm attracted to.

The thing that bums me out the most is that he got my cellphone number from somewhere. True, there was that dumbass moment where my number was online on my resume, but I highly doubt he got it there. We have mutual friends which probably shared the information.... just gotta find out who. See, I don't give out my cellphone number to just anyone. I know some people who give out there number to everyone they meet. I probably have given out my number to maybe 25 different people and even some of them are family. Most are my bestest friends and two are exboyfriends. So, as you can tell, when my number is given to people, it freaks me out. I mean, geez, at least give it to the attractive people. Anyway, I just thought I would blog about my latest perdicament. I guess it's not a bad perdicament...hehehehe, I love that word even though I probably spelled it wrong!! Man, I would give Eye Candy my number... He can call me!!! Anyway, I guess I'll just go day by day. Single Lisa....out...

Pictures of BarBea during recovery!!

I promised pictures of BarBea in the hospital. Well here you go!! I didn't take any when she was in surgery which was probably the most amazing thing seeing a horse laying on it's back on a table. But at that point and time I didn't know if she was gonna make it out so I didn't want to remember that as the last way she looked!!So here are a couple of pictures of her during recovery...

Here is a picture of her attached to her IV bags. There were four IV bags, a bag of plasma and a bag of "liquid snickers" nutrition. These bags are 5000ml.

BarBea had her stomach pumped to keep her from being uncomfortable. They would pump water into her stomach through the tube in her nostril and let it syfen out of her stomach...yeah, I couldn't watch this process and I was very thankful when the tube came out!

She looks puthetic but she feels 10 times better. She has one more month in the stall and then she can go out to pasture again. She's gonna be really excited when that happens. Right now, I walk her and let her graze for about an hour a day.

She had to wear a muzzle to keep her from eating her straw bedding. She hated that thing with a passion. I even got a short video clip of her running it against the bar windows in the stall just like an inmate with his tin cup!!! It was hilarious. It would have to be super frustrating to want something and have something covering your mouth so you can't have it. And they were only feeding her a handful of hay very two hours. She hadn't eaten for two days prior to that because of the surgery and the following day. Anyway, so there are the pictures all taken with my Motorola V551 Camera Phone. Not great quality, I know but it was the best I could do!!

I had a dream...

Last night, I had a dream. It wasn't a good dream. I don't even know, it could have been a nightmare, I'm not really sure. I dreamed that my ex died. Although I resent him and everything he has did to hurt me, I never wished that on him, or at least I don't remember wishing...I still feel terribly guilty though because it was in my brain, I dreamed it, I must have thought it somewhere along the way. I guess I'm writing this to convince myself that I don't wish that on people. You know, the big issue I was having in my dream was whether to go to the funeral or not. When I woke up, I was still thinking about it. I don't think I would. Mainly because, that is for his new girlfriend, not me. It doesn't matter that we spend a year and four months of our lives together, shared many things together. It's just not my right.

I told my friend about the dream and she said I would probably go to the grave after it was all over. Yeah, I probably would. I would probably thank him for the good times, even though I don't remember them right now, I would apologize for everything mean thing I did to him and the mean things I DID wish upon him. I guess that means I should apologize for all those things now. Oh well, I'm not that strong. I don't think I would want him to come to my funeral. I wouldn't want his sympathy when I'm dead, he couldn't give it to me when I was alive. No, I don't want him at my funeral. I don't want him thinking he would be the better man, do the right thing, because he's not the better man.

My friend also told me when you dream of death it means a rebirth. Maybe he knocked someone up, she said. Nice, yeah, didn't really help me out. I don't know. I feel really really guilty about the dream. Do I have that much anger in me?? Am I capable of such things?? I mean, its been four months since we split up, five since he cheated. I should be over it by now. I think I am physically. I know I am physically, it's the subconscience that's kickin my ass. I even believe mentally, I'm over him.... those stupid little thoughts that are always half there are driving me insane. I guess he's been on my mind a lot more lately. I missed him when BarBea was in the hospital. I just wondered if he would have been there to hold me and comfort me. He wasn't, but yet it wasn't his job anymore. It's just something I think about. I wonder if it would have been easier with someone to lean on?

So, I have given up the search. I am no longer searching for a replacement. If it happens, it happens. I'm going to focus on me, my family, and my friends. I am going to search out a new job, new possiblities. No more of this petty sexual stuff. I don't need someone to make me happy. I really only wanted someone to kill the time with. Just because he needs a new relationship right out of the box, doesn't mean that's the best thing for me. I'm just gonna be me - Single Lisa.... hell, I play the part well!!

Pretty good week....

OK, so if you would have spoke to me Thursday night you would have heard the Old Happy Lisa. Thursday, the Klik met up for dinner. You know, I always think that there was a chance we were growing apart...like, everyone didn't want to hang out anymore, but when we all got together it was just like old times. We talked non-stop for an entire hour. About anything and everything. Smiles on all our faces. Gawd, I love my friends. We just mesh well together. I hope that when we are old ladies we still get together and are just the same as we are today and I believe we will be. It's soo great!! We gawked at the hot waiter who we shall name, "Eye Candy", and we made fun of other people in the restaurant. It was just a great night. OK, so Eye Candy happened to have graduated with the ex. Eye Candy is just that, freakin' Hot!!! He always has been and I used to tell my ex about it. I would love to go out with him. I always thought he was attractive and it would tourk my ex soo bad... speaking of that.... I have a story for my Friday....

Friday I worked in the morning with two of my best friends. It was a really great day. Nothing could bring us down. We had a great time. OK, so I had discussed with one of my friends I was working with, the weird thing about high school guys and finding them attractive. I'll admit that there are two really attractive high schoolers who I am uneasy around because I am attracted to them. Well, they both flirt and I do my darnedest to avoid flirting back. Friday, one came in. He stood and talked to me for about 20 minutes and I was soo nervous he was gonna see I was attracted. My friend had a grinned slapped across her face the entire time. It's really cool though to know that there are guys out there that I find attractive that could be equally attracted to me. He's too young so he is off limits but it's just the realization that maybe there is someone out there for me. Anyway, that's not the story i was gonna tell.. First, I think I need to give you a flashback......

About nine months into my last relationship I did make an error. This guy who came in to work alot and talked to me, gave me his number and told me to call him sometime. There was no attraction to this guy but he was fun to talk to so I didn't want him to not be my friend anymore so I shoved the number into my pocket and forgot about it. When I got home I threw it on my headboard with every other piece of paper I bring home. A couple of days later, totally forgotten, it resurfaced in my boyfriends hand. He questioned me about it, scolded me, and then ripped it up and ate it....yes, you read that right, ATE the paper. He told me he wasn't satisfied with just ripping it up because I could dig it out of the trash and paste it back together...hehehheh..yeah, right. OK, so if you could see this guy, you would totally see he's not my type. He's not "not" attractive, he's just not for me. He has tattoos everywhere, up his neck, down his arms, and nuts in his earlobes to stretch them out. OK so I don't have the stomach for that. If I can see thru your ears, your not for me. I mean that physically and mentally. So with that story told...

He came in again on Friday. It has been a while since he came into work but he reappeared. The last time he was in, he had his girlfriend, this time, he was alone. I helped him find what he needed and during the process he asked if we could "hang out together" sometime. So yeah, he's not my type, but boy would that piss off the ex. I don't know if I'll use him or not though for the fact that I don't want to lead him on...but it sure is a tempting idea. I just know that is something that would bother the ex. He didn't trust the guy. I would rather piss him off with Eye Candy because, wow, Eye Candy is HOT. Totally totally attractive. hehehehe...OK, so small flash back story with Eye Candy. He is friends with my cousin who lives across the road. Last summer, I was mowing the yard in my bikini and my cousin and Eye Candy drove by and waved at me. The next thing I know, Eye Candy is mowing my cousins yard in a wife beater and looking fine. I could tell he was looking and I was soo looking at him. It was just a weird thing... hehehehe... Oh, the things I was thinking when I shouldn't have been thinking of them.... I was still with my ex at the time...Oh well, I just have known it wasn't gonna work. I had my sites on Eye Candy back then. Anyway, probably nothing will happen but I can dream can't I?!?!?!

Today I had a Craft Fair that I had a booth at. I won a raffle and got 12 free tanning bed sessions....yippee... I haven't been to the tanning bed in a year and a half. I need a good fake bake tan!! I also made a profit around $220 on my charm sales. That will go towards the BarBea medical fund!!! Anyway, I guess I'll let you chew on this information and hopefully I'll have another good week!!! See Ya!!!

SHE'S HOME!!!!!

Dr. Smith, Barbea & Me

Well, BarBea is now home!! We brought her home last night and she looks great, well besides her missing patches of hair and how skinny she is.... But she's bright and alert and excited. I'll post pictures when I have more time so you can see how she looked. On the way up to get her, my mom and I stopped at Meijers to get a fruit basket and candy for the doctors and techs in the equine ICU. They don't really know how much we appreciated them. Of course I think they will miss BarBea too. Many of them came over and gave her a kiss and a hug before we left, cooing about what a good girl she had been. She really was great. It's soo great to have her home. I just hope she continues to do as well as she is. Her staples (closing her incision) are due to come out on the 18th. After sixty days she can go to pasture again. She will be soo excited!!

OK, so I have a correction from the last post. When I said she had 25 feet of her small intestine taken out, I was wrong. Come to find out after talking further with the doctors, they LEFT 25 feet of the 60 feet of her small intestine, therefore they removed 35 feet. OK so that is a ton!! They believe she will function fine with that much intestine removed so I hope they are right.

This morning I went out to do my chores and it was great that she was there to greet me. It's funny how I can love something soo much and it not be a person. There is not too many people in this world that I love more than my animals. I guess its because they don't fake anything, they don't lie, they love you unconditionally. They rely on you, depend on you and love you for it. They don't judge or backtalk, they just listen. I know that there are millions of people in the world who are not animal lovers. I feel sorry for these people because they truly don't know what they are missing out on. People need to open their eyes and give animals the same respect they give to fellow humans. We were all put on this planet together to live in peace. I think that's how it needs to be. Animals are not servants, but rather companions and comrads. At least that is the way I see it.....

Where Have I been????

Well, I know its been a long while since I have posted and I assure you I have good reason. BarBea was still sick all last week. So sick in fact that I had the vet come back and look at her again on Thursday when she advised me to take BarBea to Ohio State University veterinary Equine Clinic. Ok, so a referral to OSU is never a good sign. That means serious business. After going through several emotions, such as panic, fear, disbelief, I got arrangements to get her to OSU Thursday night. A two hour trip.

We arrived at 10:51pm into the ER at Galbreath Equine Center. A vet looked her over to discover her small intestine was severely distended more than three times its original size, something she had never seen before. The options: surgery or she will die. Being a part of the family for 13 years, there wasn't options, it was fix her.

So, Friday at 1:00pm she was put under anesthesia and wheeled into the surgery room. At 4:15pm she was placed in a padded stall to recover from anesthesia. She was in surgery for over three hours where they discovered a mass (tumor) blocking her small intestine from her large intestine. They removed most of the distended intestine (about 25 feet) and reattached it to the large intestine, bypassing the tumor which was too deep to remove. When the doctors were getting ready to suture her up, she started to hemorrhage and they had trouble getting the bleeding to stop. This upset me terribly. The doctor came to talk to us after the surgery and said the next 24 hours will be very hard for her.

Well, that 24 hours has passed along with four more days and she's doing wonderful. I have been with her every day. I have made the trip to Columbus three times this week and have had very little sleep. Though, I wasn't getting much sleep before when she wasn't feeling well. Hopefully she will make a full recovery. I received a phone call just a couple of hours ago from her Vet, Dr. Smith. She said that BarBea can come home tomorrow or Friday, most likely tomorrow!! Of course the healing process doesn't stop with her leaving the hospital. She will have about three months worth of recovery before she can be a horse again. Hopefully, she will have a long and happy life, another 15 years with me. As you can tell, I'm very attached to her and so are my parents. When it's all said and done, we will probably have around $8500 in her recovery. That is a small price to pay for a loved one though, but there are people that won't pay that. I don't understand that. I would take out a loan if I had too. Luckily, my parents are paying for it and I will pay them back over time.

I would like to tell you how nice and friendly the people are at the OSU vet clinic. It was unbelievable the hospitality and friendliness that was expressed to us during our time up there. Better than any human hospital. The doctors were fanatic along with the techs and the students. I would like to thank every one of them from the bottom of my heart. Thank you!! It was amazing.

Anyway, that is where I've been. I was disappointed with the lack of emails concerning my lack of posting but that's OK, I guess. So people didn't miss me. I understand. Anyway, I should be back on a more regular basis now. The better BarBea gets, the more I'll write!!!