Got A little Frost bite...

Well, I got back from a ski trip with my friends. It's a good lift for me. I rode down with one of my best guy friends who is also single and depressed like me. We realized during our 4 hour drive through blizzard like conditions that our married friends have never experienced heartbreak or being single like we have. They will never truly understand how we feel. They were high school sweethearts and have been together for over 10 years, never been heartbroken.. Oh, if only we all could be soo lucky. It's funny cause me and my guy friend would be a good couple. We get along great, we know eachother well, it just doesn't work that way with friends though. That's OK though, to not look lame, we played boyfriend and girlfriend..hehehehe...

Anyway, I'm a little distracted right now with what I was going to post. HE messaged me on my MSN and it kinda took my breath and made my heart skip a beat. After the pain I went through on Saturday night, that was the last thing I expected from him. He was only giving me well wishes for my upcoming interview but it just tore at my heart. I don't think it's possible to stay friends considering the feelings I have or had for him. That was probably 30 minutes ago and I still feel the pressure on my chest. He didn't mean to hurt me but it just does. I told him I couldn't do it. He apologized. I know it's lame, but I wish he would have said that he was having a hard time without me and that me wanted me back. I know though, that nothing would be better, I just need to continue to get over him. Some days I believe I can do it, others I'm not so sure. But hey, I'm still alive... I guess I can live without him. It's just a little harder sometimes.

Back to my trip. When we woke up this morning at 7:45am it was -3 degrees with a windchill of -18 degrees. Talk about cold!! I had on a pair of jeans, 2 pairs of flannel pants, windbreaker pants, and snowboarding pants. I also had on 3 long sleeved t-shirts and a sweatshirt plus my snowboarding coat. Let me tell you what, I'm glad I had that much on. When we would go up the lift, it would get colder and snowboarding down the slopes it felt like your face was freezing. All the lifts had Frost bite warnings posted. Yeah, only really dumb people will go skiing in that kind of weather. There is good news. I am doing slightly better than my previous ski trip experiences. My knees are highly bruised but most of that came after I started getting tired and more people were skiing (meaning you have to dodge more people...for me that means throwing myself to the ground!!).

It was a good time and I enjoyed spending time with my friends. They will be what I miss the most when I move away. They are my rocks. Friends are the family you choose and I chose a great family of friends. I hope they all know how much I appreciate their friendship. I wish I could include him in my special group of friends because he was a special part of my life for so long but I don't need friends who lie and cheat. None of mine have and I would bet my life that none of them ever would lie to me. That is my definition of a friend and I hold that close to my heart. And although I'm probably not the best girlfriend in the world, I know that I am a damn good friend to people. Not to sound conceded but I think a person is very lucky to have me as a friend...