Bad Judge of companion character...

I had a break down last night. I'm not even sure why. I was alone in the house and I just lost it for no reason... well, OK, the reason is I see myself as a puthetic loser who can't keep a boyfriend and who is gonna be alone for the rest of her life. Luckily, friends called. They didn't know I was down, they just called. Each one shared their thoughts with me about how it will get better, it just takes time. More time than a month. Damn!! Then, my friend Cathy called. For some reason, Cathy usually says the important things that impact the way I think. I thought back to when me and him started dating. Cathy said she didn't like him. He was a womanizer. She never completely trusted him. She felt like he was a player. For some reason I didn't see that but I guess when you are in love, you see what you want to see. I wish I would have listened to her in the beginning. She didn't push her thoughts on me, she just let me go. Let me be happy with him. She gave him the benefit of the doubt. She was right though. Lots of people saw him like that. I just didn't. Neither did my family and friends. Of course they only knew him around me. They didn't know how he was without me. I guess he put on that front around me. Love really does make you see someone in a different light. You know, I see that in him now. I see his womanizing ways. He enjoyed having a line of girls interested in him and I was just holding up the line. I guess I wanted to see more in him than what he will ever be. I guess that was dumb of me. Cathy also said that what I wanted from him was the dream of me and him. The fairy tale story. The happily ever after. He cheated and I wanted him back...no, I didn't want him, I wanted the way we were. That's another stupid thing you do in love. Oh well, I'll move on. So much for my happy ending...