Almost a week....

Well, it's been almost a week. I hung out with my one friend Friday night. I went shopping with another on Saturday and hung out today with some friends. I'm not alone, that is for sure. Of course I do have to say this... He did call me on Friday night. It did make me realize that he hasn't forgotten about me so I slept better. But today I discovered more things about him I never knew. Things that if I had known, probably would have changed the way I felt about him. But I didn't know so I did they the way I did. I feel sorry for him. He's messed up his life pretty bad. I don't mean just losing me either, there are other circumstances that he's going to have to deal with. Not good. I tried to help him. I tried to show him that he was self destructing. I guess he didn't care.

He called for help Friday night. I couldn't help him. If I could have, I would. That's just how I am. If someone asks for help, I will try my best. I do feel bad that I couldn't. I hope he makes it through everything that he's going to have to deal with now. I told him that I would be there for him through this, but then I'm done. It's no longer my problem. But, he hasn't called so I guess he doesn't need my help. I have mixed emotions about that. I guess in a huge way, I love to be needed. I love to be the person that friends know they can count on for help. I am that type of person and I don't believe that falls into the 'bad person' category.

With the help of friends, I see the way now. I see that I am not a bad person. I am not responsible for his actions. I cannot help someone who doesn't want help. I am a strong person and good things are just around the corner for me.