Stick a fork in me, I'm done....

You know. My life is good. I am in a place with tons of opportunity and good people. I have a decent job with great people who think the world of me. I have several friends that I truly and honestly value and I know they truly value me. Life is good. My life should get better now. The one thing in my life that was making me sad and putting me down is gone. I am now single.

I know what you all are thinking. Why am I now seeing the light?!?! Well, there was a moment last week where pit guy said some things to me that finally woke me up from my love induced trance. I finally realized I deserved to be treated better. The moment he told me that I was a horrible friend to my friends and that I didn't deserve any friends and I didn't have any anyway. That was the moment. Me, sitting there in tears, listening to him tell me that finally made me realize, "man, why an I with a person who thinks this about me?" But my bigger question was, "if I am this person he is speaking of, Why is HE with ME???"

I am sure that in the days to come, loneliness will set in and I will defend him and believe I was in the wrong. I was the one that poisoned the relationship and he could have been the one..... Just so you all know, I know that that isn't true. I might write about it later but remember, I do know what's right and what's wrong. Sometimes I just choose to believe my heart instead of my brain.

He didn't cheat on me....that I know of. I think he was really close to it though. He kept telling me he was looking for someone else. You know, I just don't get why he would hold on to me until he found that someone. Why put someone through that, and yourself? Why keep telling the person you don't want to be with anymore that you love them? I don't get it and I probably never will.

Now, I plan on focusing on me. I don't need a man to make me complete (although it is nice!) I just need to listen to my friends and start believing what they tell me. I AM a good person and I DO deserve better. Don't feel bad for me because I have finally got my strength to believe in myself. Thanx to all that helped me find that again.....