Downhill slowly....

Well, in case you didn't pick up on the fact that I only post when things aren't going good, they aren't. My personal life is eating me again. You know when you get that feeling someone doesn't want to be with you and you start to look back at the last month and realize that they probably didn't want to be with you at all, well that's what I'm going through. No breakup has occurred....yet... I left a message telling him we needed to talk since I haven't heard from him in two days. I figure the end is near, and he will make the decision. Or....maybe he already has.. I got some information today that tore my heart out alittle bit. Stuff I wasn't expecting and stuff that has made me start to realize things I hadn't noticed. Me, living in my own little world again.... go figure... Now, I'm setting here alone, rehashing everything that has happened in the last month. Filtering out all the 'I love yous' and 'I want to be with you forevers', I come to realize, I don't think he actually loves me. I'm not sure why, I just have that feeling... and usually the feeling doesn't lie. That's hard because lately, I have really been loving him... No, he's not my perfect man and he isn't great to me, for some reason, just him being there was enough for me. I guess I am really niave. I don't know what is going to happen but I have decided that if it's meant to be, it will be. I have no control and I can't make him love me. I can only do the best that I can do and give someone the best that I can give. Other than that, I'm lost.....