24 hours later....

Well, he's been gone for over 24 hours. I made it. This is the first day of the rest of my life. I need to make things happen for myself. After work, I stopped at the YMCA in Mooresville and I'm gonna join. Hopefully, I will meet some new people and make some new friends. My own friends. And there are males there too. Heck, maybe the man of my dreams. And if that doesn't happen, then at least I can work really hard to get a great body and maybe pit guy will regret losing me. I guess today I worked on thinking up ways to hate him. I deal better with hate. I mean, he didn't really do anything wrong to me. He wasn't very nice to me at all times, but it didn't end badly. I mean, we talked and were civil to eachother. Today though, my thoughts went back to why he was really with me. Was he just wanting a place to stay? Was he using me? Did he plan on leaving me after what I thought was the best week we had together? Of course my answers are all negative to these. I want to believe he's not the guy his friends made him out to be, but maybe he is or was. I just hope that some part of me sticks with him and improves his life. I'm not an angel or a great person by no means, but I did try very hard to help him and make it work. I guess love shouldn't be that hard. Well... I wasted some time coming home like touring the Y and even went and looked at a possible house to buy. Pulling in the driveway was the hardest thing. I didn't shed a tear, but there was the possiblity. They were there. I just talked myself out of it. I hope tomorrow gets better.....