It's been awhile....

Well, I guess you can't be happy all the time.... Kinda having a rough weekend. Things are not looking good for Pit Guy and me. We have been together five months and for the most part they have been really good. Just one little slip this weekend has kinda had my heart flip flopping. You know, it's something I can let go of but do I really want to. I guess I'm thinking about my future and it's something that will only cause me pain in the future too. I guess you really can't change a person and a person must really love you to try to change for you... I guess he did for a while but he's resorted back to his old ways and I can't go through it again. For some reason he doesn't see where he was wrong and he won't talk to me about it. I guess I'll give it a couple more days before I decide if he's really worth it. To me, right now, he really is. He's a great guy and I really do love him with all my heart. But, I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to fix things. At a time like this, I'm really homesick for my friends and family. I really feel terribly alone. I hope things work out and that's all I really have on my christmas list. Let things get better. We had a great couple of weeks and now it's all kinda crumbling. I hope we can get it back.... Well, thanx for listening, er reading....