Going too good....

I realize it's been a while since I last posted. I'm sorry for that. I have been really really busy. Since my last post I have made a trip home and the family has made a trip down here. I have a really great family and I am very proud of them. All is good there. My personal life, though, is getting a little rocky. Pit Guy thinks it's weird that I write on this blog so therefore this will be my last post talking about him. He hit it off well with my family. I was very proud of him. We've had some issues lately but I figured we worked them out. Only now, he decided to purchase a condo. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for him but on the other hand selfish-low-self-esteem Lisa sees it only as a bad thing. He will move out, we will slowly grow apart, he will stop loving me and we will no longer be together. Well, he will probably find someone else before that. But, it's all out of my control. What will happen will happen. I guess if you love something, set it free and if it comes back you know it was meant to be. I guess I just need to live like that. Gawd, it's gonna be really really hard though. I am gonna miss him like crazy. And dumbass me, hell, I'm already starting to pull away from him.... Of course, any reader of my blog will know that that is what Lisa does when the relationship gets too complicated. Run for the hills, that's what I do. Always assume the worst and the worst is usually always the thing that happens. So I don't wanna get hurt again. Again, a selfish thing. His birthday is tomorrow.... it is soo weird how much I love this guy. I just don't know if it's gonna be enough. I guess we'll see how it goes.. Until then though, I am gonna hold on to the wonderful future I have created in my head with him. All the stuff we talk about doing together and all the fun we have together.... The bad stuff is on the back burner right now. I just hope the oven is still working when he walks out my door..... sigh...wish me luck and those spiritual people, pray for me...