Ho hum....boring....

Yet again, Loser Lisa’s life is at a standstill. Let’s see, last Thursday, a friend went with me to get measured for a bridesmaid’s dress for my cousin’s wedding. The woman measured me and I was impressed with my measurements but she measured me tight, I felt so now I’m freakin’ out the dress will be too small… plus, the wedding isn’t until September so that means I have to keep weight off till then. Course, hopefully, I’ll be thinner and have a killer body. Ha, I wish… Anyway, we had a good time though. We went to the mall and shopped. It was cool to hang out with her cause I hardly ever get to see her. That was a good time. Then, a group of friends went bowling Friday night. I had a great time but I was like the seventh wheel. I just realized that night how really single I am. That was depressing. I did get a free drink from our waiter though at BW3s. That made me smile a little. Saturday, I went shopping with my mother. Nothing says loser like being at the mall on a Saturday night with your mother.

I hit a state of depression that night. I realized I need to grow up. I need to get a real job, move out, quit reading Seventeen and Teen People magazines and quit shopping at American Eagle and Abercrombie. I need to stop buying happy meals at McDonald’s and I need to stop giggling whenever someone’s first name is Dick or I see the number 69. There are people from my class who have two and three kids. That’s not me, nor will it ever be but I need to grow up a little. I need to quit buying animals and save my money for important stuff. Boy it sucks to realize that I am grown up. I should already be at my career job. I should already have a place, a mortgage, stuff like that. I should be attracted to guys in business suits, not baggy, holy skater pants with shaggy hair. I need to stop watching MTV all day, every day. Wow… that’s a lot of stuff to have to give up. I guess I really don’t act my age. Maybe that’s why I am attracted to younger guys. It sucks. It really does.

So, now you know what’s been on my mind for the last week. Exciting huh. Although I’m lonely, I haven’t thought about guys during my depression state. More about how my life is a failure so far. I guess I do have some thoughts about a certain someone…no, not the ex… but I am just going to leave it at thoughts. If it’s meant to happen, it will happen. I’m not gonna seek anything out.

As for the ex, yeah, I think about him. It’s been over 4 months since we split. I don’t think about us being back together, I just think about how bad I was fooled. I think back to a year ago and what we were doing. Where we were at in our relationship. How happy I was to be with him. I just think about how niave I was to not see the REAL person behind his pretty eyes. That scares the shit out of me. I realize that I could be blinded again… I could fall hard for someone and not even know them. How do you meet the real person?? Or do you judge them by their past, their families, and stuff like that? Everyone always said, he seemed like such a nice guy. How can you tell?? Well, it doesn’t really matter now. It’s not gonna happen again to me. I’ve got my eyes wide open now. The next guy is gonna have to jump through hoops to win my trust. I know that’s not fair but its what I gotta do.

The moral of this post: Lisa needs to grow up. That’s pretty much it… after I grow up, maybe my life will get better…. Hummm….