Could the worst be over???

Well, I relapsed a little this morning when I woke up, but I pushed it outa my head with a vision of Dale Jr asking me out. That was nice!! I can create wonderful fantasies in my head when I want to. I got out of bed, remembered my interaction with the hot UPS man, smiled and started my day. I'm not going to say I didn't think about my ex all day because there were moments. I went back and read old chats that we had in the last month, most were arguing over the things he had done.

At one point in time during our broke-up-but-trying-to-work-it-out stage, I chatted with a rather attractive male online. He gave me his phone number. Low and behold, my ex decided to read my emails and discovered the number. He was hurt and I realized that, but all this occurred after a girl come into my work and said, he had given her his number and told her to call him sometime. This was after he told me, some girl left her name and phone number on his car and he called her. Maybe I'm wrong but if you are trying to work things out with someone you say you love, you wouldn't call a girl who left her number on your car. I mean, what reasons are their for a girl leaving her number? huh....not many. Maybe she just needed to borrow a cup of sugar or something...yeah right. These turn of events sent me into a rage. I was glad I got that guys number. Finally I had something to throw at him. It took me three days to call the guy though. I wasn't going to but then I thought, you know, he's moving on, so should I. I never told him I actually called the guy, but I did and it felt great. I finally did something that he did. I would never have done that had we still been together, but I was tired of him having all the fun. BUT, two wrongs don't make a right. It certainly didn't help our working-out process, obviously.

You know, I can honestly say I have no regrets. I have done my stupid things I probably shouldn't have done in my life but I don't regret anything. I have learned a valuable lesson from every stupid, idiotic thing. I wouldn't change anything I've done in my life because I wouldn't know the things I know today. I have done things most people would put in their regret files, but you know, if you learn from it, it wasn't a bad thing.

I have no regrets with my ex. We had a great 6 months and tons of great memories. We just let it slip away. We slipped for 10 months. I experienced the deepest love of my life so far with him and I experienced my first major heartbreak. He was the first person to break up with me. He was the first person I loved more than he loved me. He was the first person to ever cheat on me. Most people say you should never have to experience that pain, but it was good for me. I don't believe I could ever cheat on someone, but now I know I could never cheat on someone. After feeling that pain, I would never want to put anyone through it, not even him....