My first post

Hello all. This blog is kinda a step to move on. A big part of my life as ended and for the past couple of days, I didn't know how I was gonna make it through it. I know we have all been there, but for some reason, it never gets easier. This has mostly to do with my recent breakup from my boyfriend of a year and four months, but more to do with the changes I need to make in my life. I guess we all need a reality check every once in a while to let ourselves know that we have flaws too. Although, I don't believe my flaws merited having my heart ripped out and stomped on, it still opened my eyes to see the way I push people away but also that I am a good person too.

My boyfriend cheated on me. This was the first time I have ever been cheated on and it is the worst feeling on my life. Of course, afterwards, my self esteem dropped like a brick (and it wasn't that great to begin with) and I tried to figure out why he would do such a thing? I know I could never lie to a person and I could never hurt someone I loved.... of course, maybe thats the answer, I wasn't loved. I don't know. It's over now and I just need to look forward but for some reason, I keep looking back, hoping he wants me and loves me, like I loved him. That makes moving on really hard. Hopefully, this blog will help me chronicle my slow improvement back into the land of dating. Of course, right now I am stuck on the fact that I am 25 years old and the dating pool is thinning in my area.

Oh well... Anyway, if you wanna wallow in my self-pity or read my blog to appreciate your life, have at it!!! I'm here to please!! Actually, I hope I keep writing and seeing the improvement for myself. But, we'll have to see...