As if anything could happen...

Yeah, I know, as if anything could have happened between last night and this morning. Well, let me tell ya, not much sleep and a whole lot of thinking. For some reason, I just can't get him out of my head. Of course, last night was an official week that we have been offically broke up forever. That was a major conquest, but I'm surprised about how NOT WELL I'm doing. It has almost been two months since he cheated on me. I just need to get over it and move on. Anyway, i guess what spurred all this new pain is the fact that we are gonna make a switch of the stuff we had left of eachothers. We have emailed a couple of times and it just seems everytime I see his email in my inbox, I don't know what it is, a since of hope, maybe, tears through me. I hate that because I read it, all I hear is "It's completely over".

Also, today I got pictures back that I sent to get developed. 85% of them are of me and him. You wouldn't believe how happy we looked either. Gawd, did that do it to me!! Does anyone know how to fully let go??? I told him I couldn't see him when we made the switch. Is that wrong?? I mean, geez, his memory is enough to put me into a depression so deep, I don't think I'll ever get got of it. I don't even know what seeing him would do.... well, yeah I do. Begging and crawling. I did THAT after he cheated on me??? Why do girls do that?? After I did nothing wrong, I felt the need to CRAWL back to him, BEG him to take ME BACK!!! I realize how stupid that is now.

Anyway, I guess I'll leave it today at that. I will remember how stupid I was to crawl and remind myself I should never crawl to someone who hurt me soo bad. Hard lesson learned.....